It is the fact that evenwith HRT and SRS it is only the best that modern medicinecan do. Even then I am still not genetically female. Thereis no way I will ever give birth. The view in the mirror isstill too masculine. I don?t know if I could ever get ridor my beard or the rug that covers my body. I am too tall.My voice is too deep. The hair where I need it is missing.I need to put makeup and look pretty, not like someone whois trying to pass. And if I try to pass I might get beat upby someone who believes he is a ?real? man. Or I might justbe lucky enough just to get a snide remark. I need to bewith woman as a woman, not a freak. And if I need to go tothe restroom in a public place it is with a sister or agirlfriend. I need to be with a man as his woman and knowthat he is or will be the father of my babies.I feel that hurt and anger. It is because I was born withthat genetic defect that said I should be playing with gunsand trucks instead of dolls and jewelry. Part of me neededto. In their sincere desire to help, they were able to convince Becca to finally open up and share her and Darren's problems as she saw them.Over the next few days, they spent several hours, discussing, questioning, and observing their daughter, her behavior, and analyzing her answers. In the end, their final conclusion and recommendation was that Becca and Darren probably should separate for awhile to clear their heads and get a grasp of their true feelings.Becca's mom and dad felt it would give the young couple some much needed breathing room to see if they could recapture what they previously had. Considering how the last eight months had torn at the fabric of her and Darren's relationship, Becca was melancholy. But unfortunately, she had to agree with them.She recalled, 'Darren kept warning me the summer and fall quarters were going to be brutal, I just didn't realize how much. But did he really have to spend over seventy hours a week between classes, library, and study groups.'I.
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